The one that go away ~

She the one and only, the greater one. She is my ahma (grandmother) the one that i love so much! the one that watch me from i was a child till i grow up.. i never thought that this year will be the last chinese new year that i celebrated with her.. and i never thought that on that day was the last day i can see her before i came back to kuching study. when i get the news that she was sick i was cry i was scare that she got away from me. my heart really want to go back to see her but because of presentation i postponed few day to go back. i had talk to her on the phone when i heard her voice my heart pain how much i miss her.. the last word she say to me make me speechless make me cry but i pretend to be okay i don't want to let she know that i was crying. after a few day, i'm happy to heard her voice and heard the news from aunt that she say ahma she had a bit good already at that time i was happy and want faster get back to see her.unfortunately, the next morning i was in library with my friends having discussion and suddenly my mum text me that ahma she in anytime will leaving us.. at that time, i was like out of space i don't know what i supposed to do, i just want to get back there as soon as possible.i was shaking felt so weak i have no idea what am i doing. i met my lecturer for asking permission want to take a leave and also postponed my presentation date. i try to say a word but i cant i was too shock and felt so weak but i still trying to say it out even in a low voice then my lecturer hug me give me comfort, at the moment i cannot stand anymore i lose control i cry in front of her. the more she comfort me the i felt so sad but i know i need to be strong. i try to calm down and then went back to packing all the things. after a minute, i got a phone call from my uncle he told me that ahma already gone, she leave us and again it shock me. i cry so badly, all the memories about her all appeared in my mind. I could never say a words my heart so much pain i lost the one that i care i love so  much for the first in my life. that day was the day she leave us, i miss the chance to see her, i supposed to go back when i get the news that she sick but i didn't. i call my mum ask about her then she told me that ahma got asking whether i came back already when i heard my mum say that i felt so sad in that condition she still remember me i felt so touch. i miss to tell her how much i love her as my ahma! she the one and only ahma that i always had and i always knew.. until now i still miss her so much!! every moment and time that we spend together, every word and advice that you said to me i will always always always remember. Ahma i want you to know that how much i appreciate and love you as my grandmother please always know that i love you even though sometime i am bad to you but it doesn't mean i hate you it was just i in a bad mood the trues is even how much u scold me before i still love you so much.. Ahma May you soul rest in peace, i love you ahma. you always in my heart forever. i will always miss you.